Fat woman dancing ice cream commercial

On June 24th Halo Top Creamery posted a commercial on YouTube. I started seeing it in the ads in the videos I was watching and I immediately fell in love. I actually shared it on my private Facebook and on a couple of groups I am in on that account. I think if you are a plus sized woman, you fell in love with it’s message. The “Stop Shoulding Yourself” message is something that not only do I do but I know others do too. I should drink more water, I should eat this vs that, I should wear something that covers my belly…blah de fucking blah.

So, I saw a video recommended for me by a YouTuber, ObesetoBeast, and how apparently the fitness community was up in arms over the commercial. In fact the title to his video is “Halo Top Ice Cream’s Fit Shaming New Ad? (My Thoughts)”. I’ll be honest here is the series of events of that moment: Scroll through my YouTube, see this video, double take the video title, roll my eyes, take a deep breath, step away cause my brain was steaming, cooled off and watched it.

Here is basically the point that this 10:19 long video made: How hypocritical for a “diet” ice cream company to show a fat woman dancing around in her underwear, feeling good about herself, while eating ice cream while the messaging is saying you should stop “shoulding”.

Y’all my eyes rolled so far back into my head that they traveled the 9,000+ miles from my area to the Antarctica. So let me see if I can make MY thoughts and opinions clear without the top of my head blowing off.

I often times wonder who are more insecure or who are more “snowflakes”, the fit community or the people who are insecure about their bodies. So, let me lay some things out. Remember when the Nike store in the UK had a plus sized mannequin and they put their plus sized clothes on it?

I decided to remind you. So, ya. Let me link things: The same people who are butt hurt over ice cream are the same people who are butt hurt over a mannequin are the same people who point and laugh at the woman who is eating that ice cream at home and come to the gym in the clothes that that mannequin was dressed in.

So, I’ll tell you something about myself. I’ve been active all of my life. I have also been overweight since I was two. But here’s somethings you need to know about my weight. Around the age of two, a babysitter’s son started to both molest me and use other kids his mom watched to violate me. A way victims try to protect themselves from more violation is to gain weight. Fat is seen as ugly. Period. You really can’t argue that it often times is still seen as that way. I really hope we can keep fight that but let’s be honest, if a little girl has a pudgy belly, they’re made fun of, and it starts. We learn words like pudge, baby fat, jelly rolls…all equal FAT. Ok, I’ve deviated from my point. So at 2 I was sexually abused. This particular assault lasted from around age 2 to age 4. My dad often says that before I turned 2, most athletes would have envied my abs, then one day I sat on the couch with a bag of chips and never got up. I was 10 when I was molested again. So in the internal defense survivors at times create for us externally didn’t work. Even fat, which let me also point out that part of the talk after (and during) was about my weight, I was molested. My weight kept going up. Let’s just be honest, my subconscious didn’t want to been seen as sexual at all. I was 12 when I started my cycle. With that multiple things happened, the underlying somewhat dormant monster that was muted came roaring to life. You see I have Bipolar Disorder. Now, I’ll be honest, hindsight is an interesting thing when you finally have all the puzzle pieces. When I was diagnosed I was given a medication that is a seizure treatment but it’s also used to treat the mood swings of someone with Bipolar Disorder. I started taking it in March and by August I was 100+LBS heavier. In that August I went from middle school, to being a high schooler. Imagine that fun. Again hindsight, I had PCOS, Endometriosis, and Adenomyosis. PCOS and it’s over production of hormones can cause weight gain and makes losing weight hard. In my twenties I walked 5 miles 3 times a weeks, my favorite times were at 5am in below freezing (like sweat freezing to my hair made me happy) weather. I joined a gym. The number of times I threw myself into endorphine induced mania was ridiculous. I even went to the gym just hours after my boyfriend date raped me, sodomizing me, but had to leave because I lost control of sphincter control from it being violently forced open. Even before then, I would sit in my car because I needed to work up the courage to go in because more times than not, I was pointed at and made fun of when I went to workout. I remember the gym I went to had a month long weight loss challenge. I threw myself into mania, bawled while working out because I came down from the mania during the workout, practically starved myself (yes I also have an eating disorder) and guess what? I didn’t lose a damn pound that month.

I think ultimately what that “squirrel” trip around the tree point I was trying to make was, when you’re overweight, you get bombarded in all directions when it comes to us losing weight. People staring and whispering when we’re ordering a hamburger when maybe that’s our cheat meal. While we’re buying athletic wear, people are in an uproar because they’re angry at a mannequin the exact size we are in the store. You look at me buying clothes and looking at myself in the mirror, loving myself in that cute crop top, but you don’t know that this is a reward because I had lost 75lbs and finally felt a tad bit good about myself.

I get where people are most angry with the “shoulding” aspect of the commercial. Let me ask you (those of the fit community) don’t you have moments where you ignore those “shouldning” things you should do? It may be something for you like adding an extra protein or one less macro.

Here is what I think is being missed:

I should be “dieting”, I should avoid all ice creams, but by eating this Halo Top ice cream, I am making a better choice. I’m not eating full fat ice cream, I’m making a compromise and eating a “diet” ice cream. Instead of depriving myself completely with my “shoulding”, I’m making a better choice. A better choice for my body, but also my mind and sanity.

I know coming together will never be something between the two different groups of people. I know fit people will always think that BoPo people are just glorifying being fat. And I know BoPo people will just see the fit people as body shaming. I’m here to say, I am that person who has to sit in her vehicle for an hour getting her courage to workout. I am that person who prayed her tears mixed with the sweat dripping down her face because people watching her working out are pointing and laughing. I am the fat person who loves to have the gym to herself because that is the rarest moment because no one is judging me for being fat. I am that person who has lost 75lbs and feels good but the people pointing and laughing just don’t know how much my body has changed from it. I am the person who is buying new clothes and can’t believe that I can fit into that size, but you point at me and call me a lard ass but you don’t know I’m down 4 sizes and these pants that I’m trying on are going to replace the ones I normally have that are on the verge of falling off as I walk.

Also, let me make this point: If you think that you end up paying for my healthcare with your taxes but also point, laugh, and bitch at me when I’m trying to better myself, you aren’t helping. If I’m working out, and the reason I’m working out is because I feel shame about my body, you making fun of me while I’m actively trying to fix that isn’t going to 1) make me feel better 2) may end up running me off completely. Which number 2 completely, if you’re making fun of me in the gym and bitch about “paying for my healthcare because of the complications of being obese”, you are just shitting where you eat frankly. Do your really think shaming is the one size fits all way to get a fat person to better themselves? What about the fat person who gained the weight due to trauma, or because of a medical condition or medication.

Listen, if 2020 has taught us anything, understanding and tolerance is something we need a hell of a lot more. Not more bitching about stuff. Frankly, I love seeing a woman who is happy with herself and is happy that she’s making a good compromise when she “should” be depriving herself of a pleasure.