 Show Just curious. I recently went to a friends wedding in October and haven’t gotten a thank you card. My mom went to a wedding Memorial Day last year and never got a thank you card. Is there a timeline for sending? Is it rude not to? I personally feel like it is rude, but wanted to see what others think. Voting closed 10 months ago level 1 Yes, it is rude to not send thank you notes. level 1 Who wouldn’t thank someone for a gift? Of course it’s rude not to send a thank you card. But the wedding was in October, it wasn’t that long ago. Consider that they went on a honeymoon, then there was thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years… life happens. If they don’t send you a thank you card by their one year anniversary, then they’re rude. level 1 Yes, a prompt thank you card is always nice. Before everyone starts the fire, did it occur that maybe the thank you got lost in the mail? Or someone didn't have a current address, or wrong address. We all need to teach our kids to write out and mail a thank you card, before we teach them to hold an iPad. The best time to send it is after you catch your breath after the event or celebration of the gift received. level 1 Whoever voted “no” is entirely wrong. Of course it’s terribly rude. level 2 Whoever voted No is seriously misunderstanding this subreddit and etiquette in general. Ive seen so many answers here lately with people saying “meh, I don’t want to send thank you notes and my mom never did so it must be old-fashioned and not needed” I’m very tempted to start r/mehtiquette so we can redirect people to it when they give answers that would make Emily Post bang her head on a table. level 2 I personally agree. I get life happens. But, when people give you a nice gift whether it’s a sum of money or something on a registry I feel like that warrants a thank you note or text or something to acknowledge that. level 2 Strictly speaking, it's not rude to not send thank-you cards... so long as you send appropriately gracious letters instead. level 2
I received a thank you note today from my husband's niece for Christmas gifts. I sent a check to her and gift cards to their favorite stores to her ten year old son and her sixteen year old daughter. I was happy to receive a thank you at all, but it was a one line "Thank you for the gifts" and the niece signed all three names. Am I wrong to think a ten year old and a sixteen year old are perfectly capable of sitting down and writing a personal line or two on a thank you card? I think it's important to teach kids that personally acknowledging a gift is the right thing to do. It isn't mom's responsibility. You're absolutely right. When someone goes to the expense of giving you a gift for a birthday, Christmas, engagement, wedding, whatever....It's downright rude not to convey written thanks. level 1 Whatever hooligans voted no clearly have no place on this etiquette forum. level 1 With everyone giving off the online registry and sending the gift ahead of time, couples mistakenly believe:
And … 2) If they say thanks at the reception, that’s enough. level 1 The last wedding we went to, we didn’t get a paper thank you card, instead we got a Generic verbal thank you at the wedding reception. Strangely the verbal thanks was from the bride’s grandma (my aunt) and mother of the bride (my biracial cousin). We sent 6 gifts total between the bridal shower (couldn’t attend) and actual wedding event (all of the gifts were from Amazon and sent to the mom’s address). A year later my aunt let it slip that every gift was returned for cash. I never heard from the bride (or groom) I did bump into my cousin 2-3 years later, we chatted and caught up. The former bride was there and recently had a baby and she kept saying her baby shower was canceled (but grandma had told me she had flown into town to attend the event). So it was an awkward conversation because of the lack of transparency from the bride. They are family but we don’t see them that often. I only met the bride maybe 5 times before the wedding. level 2 I hope you won't be offended by this suggestion, but I believe it was an unnecessary mistake on your part to parenthetically mention that your cousin is biracial. It doesn't factor into anything else you said and, thus, has a racist tinge to it. My advice is that you consider why that might be offensive to others. level 1 Not that this is your situation, but a reminder that sometimes life gets in the way of proper etiquette. A very good friend of mine told me that his then-wife (they have been divorced for a while now) was so ..whatever was going on with her.. (after they wrote them out together) that she threw their thank you notes into the trash and lied to him that she put them in the mail. No one really mentioned not getting a thank you, but I don't know how he found out. He was pretty horrified and embarrassed. Edit: phrasing & info level 2 Nobody mentioned it because mentioning it would kinda be rude. Nobody saying anything is NOT an indication nobody cared. I have been to weddings that did some stupid stuff to their guests and you know what...I said nothing. Unless a situation was unsafe or something really bad like...I dont know...rasist or something I would, and have, kept my mouth shut. Well until I was alone with my husband and we rolled our eyes together. Just because nobody called the person out does not mean it was not noticed and somehow the person is in the right. level 2 While that was awful of the ex, he shouldn’t have tasked her with the entire responsibility for sending them. level 2 I get that, but I feel like you could make time to even send a quick thank you text at the least unless it’s extraordinary circumstances. level 1 3 months is generally considered the latest a wedding gift thank you note should be sent so the October wedding is only just reaching that point. Is it rude to not send wedding thank you?Yes, etiquette dictates that thank you cards should be sent to anyone that has given you a gift—whether that's at the wedding, bridal shower, bachelorette party, or beyond. Sending a note of appreciation to anyone who hosted or helped organize an event is also a nice gesture.
Is it rude to not write a thank you note?The site notes that "the majority of people consider it rude if they don't receive a written note of thanks even if you've given thanks in person."
What do you do if you don't get thank you for wedding gift?The first option is to write or call the bride and ask whether she received your wedding gifts, as you had been notified by the store that the delivery was made. The second option is to wait for an acknowledgement from the bride, as it could come at a date within the near future.
What is proper etiquette for thank you notes after a wedding?Contrary to popular myth, the happy couple does not have a year's grace period in which to write their notes. All thank-you notes should be written within three months of the receipt of the gift. Ideally, a response should be written on the day you receive a wedding gift. If that's not possible, set a daily goal.
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Is it rude not to send thank you cards after a wedding
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